The Many Adventures Of Florida Man (And Woman)

Surely you’ve heard the legends of the Florida man and woman. If a news headline talks about someone in Florida, chances are it’s about something weird, and you’ll probably find it hard to believe that it happened. It’s hard to say why, but Florida seems to be the best state for crazy crime stories – is there something in the water there? At any rate, here are a few odd stories from our friends in Florida. These headlines speak for themselves.

Florida Easter Bunny Decides To Treat Himself

A disguise is a must-have for a robbery, but a bunny suit? That makes me think that the Easter bunny is stocking up on beauty supplies.

Florida Man Steals $7 Billion Because Jesus Said To

Via WFTV

This guy claimed that Jesus spoke to him and told him that he deserved wealth. Whatever happened to “thou shalt not steal?”

Florida Man Fakes Mad Cow Disease, CIA Blackmailing, Death

Via WFTV

Basically, this guy got into some serious trouble and told a bunch of lies. Seriously though, mad cow disease and CIA blackmail? What else can this guy fake?

Florida Woman Dumps Bucket Of Cherry Kool-Aid On Florida Man

Via Pixabay

Someone made this lady mad one too many times, so she fought back with Kool-Aid. Did she also yell out “oh yeah?”

Florida Man In Police Chase Stops To Pet Cats

Via WPBF

Even during a police chase, this man just had to stop by and play with someone’s cute cats. This would be me if I were a criminal.

Mop-Wearing Florida Man Searches For Eggs, Disturbs Peace

Via Palm Beach Post

You can’t make these things up. This man claims that he just wanted some eggs to make cake. Okay, but that doesn’t explain the mop.

Florida Man Holds Up Diner With Garden Hoe

Via FL Keys News

Imagine if you will a robber coming into your diner with a pink sweatshirt tied around his face and a garden hoe. Yeah, I’d laugh too.

Florida Woman Steals Car, Leaves Teeth Behind

Via WREG

Of all things, how do you forget your teeth? What a way to get caught.

Freezing Florida Man Sets Underwear On Fire

Via WCTV

This guy was cold at Starbucks, so he set his underwear on fire. Makes perfect sense to me (not).

Florida Woman Sneaks Publix Sub, Other Snacks Into Jail

Via WCTV

This woman is a probation officer, and she was smuggling the snacks into jail for an inmate to have. Are those Publix subs really that good?

Featured image via Flickr/CC BY 2.0