Are You Ready For #RejectedCandyHeartSayings?

It’s that time of the year again, when you dig deep into your pockets to find the perfect gift that sums up “I love you” and “let’s bang” in the same moment as you fantasize about your significant other’s/partner’s/friend-zoned-for-life’s reaction to your perfectly-timed Valentine’s Day gift. Maybe you’ll surprise them early in the morning with a nice, piping hot cup of their favorite coffee or maybe you will make them sweat it out all day, wondering if you have forgotten what day it was (even though they continuously refuse to go on an “actual date” with you).

It is also the time of year where people who feel the need to please everyone, but do not have deep enough pockets, scour their cars and couches for every dime and penny they can muster before trotting down to their nearest dollar store and picking up a multi-package of everyone’s favorite sweetened, chalk-pressed treat.

Yes, everyone, I am talking about those little candy hearts. The ones with so much artificial flavoring that you begin to associate their colors with codes used in the hospital rather than their “flavors.” What better way to ring in this disgusting holiday tradition and choking down chalk than with some beautiful sayings that didn’t quite make it onto these ink-impressed hearts.

When the candy hearts settle for you.

When they give you all of the signals to run.

We love foreplay, too.

When your candy becomes way too informal.

When passing out isn’t from the sugar crash.

Next generation rejection.

Now that you have had your refreshing dose of reality for the day, go out there and conquer the world! Purchase that chocolate! Put that diamond bracelet on your credit card! And remember, these hearts will always be here to tell you like it is … no matter what kind of stalemate your love life is currently in.

Featured image courtesy of Distractify