For those who never tell their parents about their dating lives, they always have a good reason. For me, I was always too open about my dating life, and I learned later on the value of keeping things to myself. They were always so eager to meet whoever I was meeting for coffee, and it wasn’t until much later that I fully began to understand the volume behind “meeting the parents.”
That’s probably why I was dumped a lot, and I attribute it to my parent’s conniving and cunning scheme of “being nice and wanting to meet people.”
Needless to say, my parents could have written my dating profile simply based on the admiration and complaining I always did in my love life.
But, for those who don’t know how their parents would write their dating profile, the beautiful hashtag #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio revealed to all of us the hilarity that could ensue if they did. For my parents, it probably would have been something akin to, “Come over and have dinner. After all, you’re practically family!” in order to forward their conniving “being nice to isolate their daughter” agenda.
But trust me, these are much more hilarious.
She's a really beautiful person & soul.
Ok where is the submit button? I "click submit". It didn't work. "SUBMIT"? pic.twitter.com/P7CwKAeiiR
— Batz McGee ? (@DitzMcGeee) May 10, 2017
If you're looking for someone that doesn't listen to any of the advice I give'em, boy do I have a guy for you!#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— Michael (@minealone6) May 15, 2017
#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio "Whoever takes this hot mess and doesn't leave, you are truly beyond human."
— ?Silly mouse? (@TheMeituFangirl) May 10, 2017
I DO NOT ACCEPT RETURNED MERCHANDISE.
(mom really did say this to my then GF now wife, who belatedly understands)
#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio— PAVLVS CAESAR (@anima_mons) June 9, 2017
I don't know……..I don't know what this is. Kim just do it yourself #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— Kamberley (@Kamtwitt) May 10, 2017
His place is trashy, & technically he's semi-homeless, but it's a plus if you like camping & being close to nature.#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— Michael (@minealone6) May 17, 2017
He always had a face for radio. #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— Chris P. Bacon (@ChrisPBaconJr) May 10, 2017
"Please date my son, it's starting to get weird." BradyAllenC @Alakay_ #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— Bargain Hunting Mom (@Gigi_vintage) May 10, 2017
https://twitter.com/CherryFireBear/status/862324658103873537?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.distractify.com%2Flol%2F2017%2F05%2F12%2FL4UfH%2Ftwitter-tinder-bios-mom
Handsome & smart. Pays way too much for rent though. He won't tell me so I KNOW it's too much! He Was a happy baby….#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio pic.twitter.com/3TtnjGj02z
— Quinten Lamar (@QuintenLamar) May 10, 2017
Not like his father thank god. #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— TJ Del Reno (@tjdelreno) May 10, 2017
https://twitter.com/kennyivy7/status/862355014056103940
#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio he was a late bloomer and he still watches anime
— Wasteland, Texas (@WastelandTexas) May 10, 2017
#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio Please help motivate her to wear a bra and do her hair everyday. She gets her looks from me and she loves her dog.
— lane marie • (@stayinurlane11) May 10, 2017
#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio he was a late bloomer and he still watches anime
— Wasteland, Texas (@WastelandTexas) May 10, 2017
Pretty good at candy crush but not as good as his mother #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— 13th Grade (@13thGradeBros) May 10, 2017
Hurt her and my husband will kill you. #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— 유나? (@MrsLunaaaa) May 10, 2017
#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio you'll never find someone on 'THAT INTERNET'
— nollaig kelly (@nollaigkelly) May 10, 2017
He keeps the basement very tidy. #IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
— Daddie's Brain (@daddiesbrain) May 10, 2017
But, let’s face it. Even if we asked our mothers to try and do this for us for a laugh, this would be the barrier we all would have to scale:
#IfMomWroteMyTinderBio
Me: "Hey Mom, what would you put for my Tinder bio if you could write it?"Mom: "What's 'Tinder?'"
— Lily Couldridge (@LilyCouldridge) May 10, 2017
Featured image courtesy of Robot Butt.
